Growing Up

My commute to work.
My commute to teach yoga on my 30th B-Day in Beniali, Spain.

Throughout my childhood there was always this impression that one day I would magically become a grown up. All dreams and desires that had bloomed within my adolescent years would suddenly petrify and become dust, drifting away into the wind. The years passed and my dreams and desires still remain.  13, 15, 18, 22, 27, and now finally 30 years young.

I feel as if I was a teenager yesterday. I have not changed one bit, or so it feels, yet, I have evolved. I have grown to accept the human being that I am today instead of trying to fight it and prove to myself that I am someone else. I do not feel a loss or an end of an era shifting into a new decade. I am born anew into my 30s.

This is an era where I truly know who I am and I accept that person. My 20s allowed me to identify who I am and what I may become. This was a preparation for the rest of my life and now entering my 30s, a new decade, a new era, I am ready to fully embrace the man I am. I do not need anyone’s permission or approvable of what I need to be or what I need to do. Just be.

I have defined what freedom is to me and I continuously develop willpower to be happy. Happiness is challenging. For some, happiness bubbles through life with ease, while others struggle each day with why the hell they continue on. There is no formula to how to create happiness. One must begin by simply asking, ‘Am I happy?’

If no, then possibly inquire further. Now, many of us are looking at the long term, like working a demanding job/career that will progress oneself professionally, financially, and/or more securely in life. Our current discontent is hopefully short term and only necessary to create what we ultimately want. This requires patience. Now, in many cases, that discontentment may be 10, 20, even 30 years time in order to pursue the long term achievement. Okay, not my ideal situation, but for some, they see the light at the end of the tunnel. So then the question remains, ‘Is it worthwhile?’

We do not know what the future holds and this is where I begin to run into trouble. Being present is quite rewarding, though at times care free or even possibly reckless. Note that care free and being reckless is very different. Being care free relinquishes the worry or guilt of letting go of the things we cannot change, while still accepting the things that we can. Being reckless is a combination of being care free and not giving a shit, which may cause issues.

It is easy to not give a shit and it quickly snowballs if we continue down this path. That is when we need to access the present moment. Not worrying about next week, month, or year, but right this moment. If one is not happy, then what can be done now to bring happiness?

Keep in mind to not be reckless. Like spending a bunch of money that one does not have or binging out on drugs and alcohol for a chaotic evening that dreadfully lingers into the following days or weeks. Do not let reckless tendencies completely stop you from splurging by any means. Dress up and enjoy an evening out with your best friends or loved ones. Grab a six pack and a pizza for the game or movie night at home. If you have the means, enjoy a weekend road trip away or even go international. For me, yoga, a comic book, and a solid laugh does wonders.

I am in a place I never imagined I would be at 30, though I am very grateful. I am a yoga instructor, freelance writer/editor, and farmer that has the ability to work anywhere I want to be. I do not own a home, but do live in many beautiful places that are open to enjoy my company. I do not have a wife or a family, but enjoy, love, and appreciate the family and friends I do have every single day. I do not work a job that I hate, but instead do rewarding work that benefits many people and their gratitude alone is worth every challenge I may face.

Make your life what you want because that is what we are meant to do. Embody your passion to the fullest and just be happy. It may not happen overnight; however, an idea, a dream, is the beginning of something more, one just needs to create it.

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